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Horoscope for the week of August 29, 2001

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Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Report: Nobody Fucking Cares

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Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.

Facebook Clarifies Site Not Intended To Be Users’ Primary Information Source

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MENLO PARK, CA—Addressing concerns about the site’s alleged bias in how it displays news stories in users’ feeds, Facebook executives held a press conference Thursday to clarify that the social network was not intended to serve as anyone’s primary source of information, and that its 1.6 billion active users should, at most, be spending 15 minutes on the platform in a given day in the first place.
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Horoscope for the week of August 29, 2001

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You have never been successful at the game of love, but at least you've finally figured out that the rules are similar to those of Scrabble.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    This would be a good time to start new endeavorsófar better than all previous times, which would have been utter shit.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You will be endlessly pleased with your brief mention in an Entertainment Weekly article titled "500,000 Rising Stars Of Indie Film."
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You will give your love a chicken which has no bone, horrifying her as the bird flops about and clucks piteously.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You never thought anything could ever replace sex in your life, but that was before you tried pouring yourself a nice stiff drink, putting on some music, and having sex.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Your marriage will soon erode to the point where you'll be sorely tempted to turn him in for the reward money.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You call yourself "an avid people-watcher," but deep down you know you really only watch for the crashes.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Look on the bright side: If you'd done a better job designing the airliner's landing gear, Wednesday's newspaper sales would have been much lower.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Stalled career got you down? Do what Sagittarius does and take a look at what Ahmad Rashad is up to these days.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You attempt to reconstruct the proto-language that gave rise to Nostratic and, thus, all modern tongues, but just wind up reading The Lord Of The Rings again.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You will soon rise to fame as America's greatest unromantic-inaction hero.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Next week, you will learn just how much polar bears hate to be teased when, while attempting to play with one at the zoo, you hurt its feelings by calling it "roly-poly."

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