Horoscope for the week of February 12, 2003

Top Headlines

Recent News

Strongside/Weakside: Jurgen Klinsmann

Despite leading the U.S. men’s national team through the so-called “Group of Death” in the 2014 World Cup, Jurgen Klinsmann has come under heavy criticism this week after his side finished fourth in the 2015 Gold Cup. Is he any good?

How Apple Plans To Rebound From Apple Watch Flop

With sales of the Apple Watch reportedly down 90 percent since its initial release, Apple is suffering in the wearables market and faces a lack of enthusiasm about its latest product. Here are some ways Apple can improve the watch and prevent the company from falling into a slump:
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Originality

Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Horoscope for the week of February 12, 2003

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    The media will proclaim you the new John F. Kennedy for your charisma, sense of style, and massive gunshot wound to the back of the head.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Your concern over what kind of mother you'll be is admirable, not to mention rare for such a young man.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You'll continue to question your faith in a God who would allow the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to win the Super Bowl.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You're proud of your conviction that rules were made to be broken, but it might be wise to keep this from the prosecuting attorney.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    All the wishing in the world can't bring your dead mother back to life, but animal sacrifices have been known to work wonders.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    They say lightning never strikes the same place twice, but that doesn't mean you should feel comfortable once you're out of the hospital.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You will finally be cleared of wrongdoing in the infamous "Bloodbath At Bala Hissar," when the Royal British Marines admit it happened 130 years before you were born.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You'll run up against a problem that all the charm in the world can't solve, so it's a good thing you haven't got any.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You're one of the rare people who's willing to die for what you believe in, which is strange because you mostly just believe in using as many coupons as possible.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    It's nice that you enjoyed the chicken pot pie, chips, and beer, but the genie was surprised you didn't try the old "wishing for more wishes" trick.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Next week is a good one for romance in the workplace, but why they always have to use your office is beyond you.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    The incident-reconstruction specialists will thank you for the chance to work with so many monkeys.