Horoscope for the week of February 26, 2003

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Strongside/Weakside: Serena Williams

Serena Williams is aiming to clinch a historic calendar Grand Slam at this year’s U.S. Open, forever enshrining her as the last American tennis player worth talking about. Is she any good?

The Pros And Cons Of Legalizing Prostitution

Several global advocacy groups, including the World Health Organization, Amnesty International, and Human Rights Watch, are calling for the decriminalization of prostitution, but many are fighting to keep the practice illegal, citing the moral, ethical, and practical concerns of condoning the sale of sex. Here are the pros and cons of legalizing prostitution:
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Horoscope for the week of February 26, 2003

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You have thoroughly wasted your potential over the past five years--years you could have spent deep-frying professionally.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    A fast-talking huckster sells you the Brooklyn Bridge for \$93.8 million, but it turns out it's all perfectly legal.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    The ladies won't be able to keep their hands off you this week, thanks to a sharp new look consisting of tailored suits made from bubble wrap.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You will experience a surge in popularity when talk-show host Wayne Brady publicly declares you his personal nemesis.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You will finally grow mature enough to accept your own mortality, just moments before the freak elephant stampede.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    The community's response to your drunken riding-mower accident will start a hilarious national trend in roadside memorial art.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    That run for the record books once again falls short when you start Boston's all-time second-largest fire.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You will be mentioned several times in Jack Palance's explanation of why he no longer does one-handed push-ups in public.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You are renowned for your kind and loving nature, thanks mainly to a crack PR team.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    The increased precipitation in your area continues, thanks largely to that little black storm cloud that follows you everywhere.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    It's been quite a while since the stars mentioned the nurses chained up in your basement, but don't worry: They haven't forgotten they're down there.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    The dying celebrity-boxing fad is revitalized when Ellen Cleghorne announces she's ready and willing to go 12 rounds with you.