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Deep Blue Quietly Celebrates 10th Anniversary With Garry Kasparov’s Ex-Wife

PITTSBURGH—Red wine and candlelight on the table before them, Deep Blue, the supercomputer that defeated reigning world chess champion Garry Kasparov in 1997, and Kasparov’s ex-wife, Yulia Vovk, quietly celebrated their 10th anniversary on Wednesday at a small French restaurant near Carnegie Mellon University, where Deep Blue was created.

A Timeline Of Aviation History

This Saturday marks 90 years since aviator Charles Lindbergh made his historic first nonstop solo transatlantic flight from New York to Paris aboard the Spirit Of St. Louis. The Onion takes a look back at the most important milestones in the history of aviation.

Zales Introduces New Line Of Casual Dating Diamond Rings

IRVING, TX—In a move aimed at reaching the millions of Americans just having a little fun for now, jewelry retailer Zales announced Thursday that it has expanded its product line to include a brand-new collection of diamond casual dating rings.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.
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Horoscope for the week of July 9, 2003

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Don't take it personally: Someone had to be the cutoff point for who does and doesn't get on the Emergency Earth-Escape Rocket.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    You know you should really stop hurling fistfuls of hamsters out the window of your speeding car, but they're so darn cute.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    After weeks of deliberation, you have yet to hear a compelling argument for not beating most of the people you've ever met to within an inch of their lives.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    It's looking like they're not going to call you the Double-Dustpan Killer until you kill someone with a pair of dustpans.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    No one can understand you without first understanding the subtle-but-crucial difference between the terms "all you can eat" and "all you care to eat."
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You will finally learn the true meaning of fear this week. First of all, it's not a light minty flavoring.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    That man who just wrapped a trombone around your neck was Jim Knepper, a Mingus sideman and notorious crank.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Polaris rising in Scorpio this week is deeply troubling, as it has to be millions of light-years out of position to do so.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Your bossiness and predilection for minding other people's business are important parts of being the World's Best Grandma.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    A little bird tells you that someone has a crush on you, but terrible secrets imparted by the giant birds hatched from the sun render this irrelevant.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    The importance of a good night's sleep will be briefly overshadowed by the importance of a good set of shovels and entrenching tools.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    You're the kind of person who considers himself open to all kinds of new experiences, as long as they involve eating buffalo wings.

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