Horoscope for the week of June 21, 2000

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Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

The Gay Rights Movement In America: A Timeline

The Supreme Court ruled in a 5-4 decision Friday that bans on gay marriage are unconstitutional, concluding decades of hard-fought battles by gay rights activists to grant marriage equality to all. Here is a timeline of milestones in the gay rights movement in the U.S.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Horoscope for the week of June 21, 2000

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Although your life has been uneventful up until now, there is something special in store for Aries.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Due to an odd arrangement of the constellations, you will be born the oldest son of Thomas Fludd, Treasurer of War to Queen Elizabeth, later this week.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You will receive a mass-mailed document from God informing you that, despite earlier third-party claims to the contrary, He does indeed make junk.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Your shy and retiring temperament does not preclude your running down the street naked and on fire next Thursday.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You will be publicly ridiculed when the ghost of Jose Canseco denies your story.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You know, Virgo has to admit itñyou're just such a nutty wack-meister that the stars have no gosh-darned idea what you're going to do next!
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You may be tired of your migraines, but don't worry. There's only one left to go.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Although you believe that Grandma's hands are now guiding you from Heaven, she's actually trying to get the undertaker's stitches out of her eyes with her left while scratching feebly at the coffin lid with her right.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    The day of judgment is finally upon you, but you may still avoid the wrath of the universe: Skip the lame excuses and just pay the stupid speeding ticket.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    It's really starting to look like you'll never be asked to join Split Enz.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Your tragic visit to the U.S. Mint is a windfall for coin collectors, who will soon pay up to $1,000 for pennies stamped with tiny pieces of you.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Although the surgeons would like to cheer you up any way they can, the law won't let you keep your legs in glass jars.
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