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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Horoscope for the week of March 12, 1997

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You will lose hundreds of dollars when you bet on author James Clavell to win, place and show in the Indy 500.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Past mistakes will come back to haunt you this week when your traffic-ticket hearing is complicated by the untimely discovery of those seven nurses in Oregon.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You will make headlines nationally when more than two dozen people witness your brutal, protracted public slaying and make no attempt whatsoever to help you.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    The triumphant return of Jesus turns sour when he demands to play keyboards for your Bad English tribute band.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Your scheme to score with your date by slipping something into her drink while she goes off to the bathroom backfires when it turns out she despises the taste of Hydrox cookies.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Your judgment is called into question when, despite the strong advice of your friends down in the marketing department, you decide to go ahead with plans to launch a winter invasion of Russia.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Aliens descend upon your house this week, implanting in your subconscious the stong suggestion to take up model railroading.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    A great honor is bestowed upon you this week when Pam Dawber records a new answering-machine message for you free of charge.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Everything you desire shall be yours this week, providing you do not under any circumstances read your horoscope.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Your dead father will cause awkwardness among your family this week when he is reincarnated as your son.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    To your great embarrassment, you discover this week that the purchase of a cellular phone does not require you to choose a "handle."
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    During the celebration of your birthday, your best friend will crystallize your thoughts when she says, "This is the worst party ever."

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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