Horoscope for the week of March 4, 2001

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Details Of Obama’s Climate Change Plan

President Obama unveiled Monday a plan to increase the country’s clean power usage that many are calling the strongest action ever taken by a U.S. president to combat the effects of climate change. Here are some key details of Obama’s climate change plan

Rescuers Heroically Help Beached Garbage Back Into Ocean

ATLANTIC BEACH, NC—In what many described as an inspiring display of selflessness and teamwork, a group of rescuers heroically saved a beached mound of garbage by helping the stranded trash back into the ocean, eyewitnesses reported Thursday.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fatherhood

  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Horoscope for the week of March 4, 2001

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    here comes a moment in every person's life when one must honestly evaluate one's worth as a human being. You should put this moment off indefinitely.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Your replacement by more than 10,000 miles of super-efficient fiber-optic cable is scheduled to begin next week.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    No one will catch your witty, conversational George Romero reference next week, embarrassing you and the entire courtroom.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You will inspire a disappointing, half-hearted Lifetime Channel original movie after waking from an eight-hour coma.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You will go down in medical history as the first North American to succumb to foot-and-mouth-and-kidney-and-eye-socket-and-lung disease.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Armed government agents will again prohibit you from attending Milan's oh-so-very Spring Fashion Week.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    All the time and effort you've put into preparing for your future should come in handy over the next nine days.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    After years of using, selling, and enjoying the stuff, you still can't figure out why they call it "dope."
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Though you've never even heard of the "Cool-O-Meter," you'll score a measly three on it next Wednesday.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You'll set the custom of open-casket funerals back years when you demand that a rather non-traditional part of your casket be left open.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Your flagging interest in the arts will be rekindled by the realization that there is a Bat-girl.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Though it's demonstrably true that "[you] do not have problems; everyone in the rest of the world does," knowing this will do nothing to help you get along with the other members of human society.