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When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

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ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Horoscope for the week of May 6, 1998

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Though you've never really thought of yourself as the military type, you will earn fame and glory for your victories in next week's Cola Wars.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    A nationwide taste test will reveal that four out of five consumers prefer your roasted haunches to the taste of new fat-free Muncharitos.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    The events of next week will closely mirror all the other events in your life up to that point.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You begin to sense the world is turning against you and your kind when doctors announce that they will someday find a cure for Cancer.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    The onset of summer will soon force you to answer a difficult question. Decide now whether or not it is hot enough for you.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Frankly, the stars are very disappointed in you, as they distinctly remember warning you not to get involved in the sort of foolhardy activities you will engage in next week.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    There is an undefinable "certain something" you find attractive about your new neighbor. Unfortunately, you will soon discover it to be nothing more than a large but otherwise ordinary set of breasts.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Do not believe those who tell you they can see your future. They are merely preying upon your ignorant, fearful, superstitious nature.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You will be brutally murdered with axes and crosscut saws when the other lumberjacks get tired of seeing your "Big Blue Ox."
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Strange impulses you cannot explain will impel you to spend hundreds of dollars on rubber stamps.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Earth magick is very strong in Aquarius this week. Bury yourself alive.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Almost anything could happen to you this week. Do not leave home without food, matches, a sturdy knife and 50 feet of rope.

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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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