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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
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Horoscope for the week of November 29, 2000

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Be on your guard this Tuesday: It will feel suspiciously like a Thursday.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Your plan to cash in by pretending to be the long-lost offspring of a celebrity fails when a jury notices you look nothing like Bigmouth Billy Bass.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You find yourself with a career in academia when a banana peel puts you in the physics, comedy, and medical textbooks.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    A longstanding neurosis will disappear this week when, during pillow talk, your mother assures you that your Oedipal complex is imaginary.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You will lose the respect of your fellow wizards when your "Magic Pancakes" turn out to be normal pancakes made with sour cream instead of buttermilk.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    The stars indicate through subtle, non-verbal cues that you have the worst bad breath they've ever encountered.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    The "arrogance and hubris" you display by choosing a cabinet is noted to the press by your spouse, who has not yet decided if the two of you are getting a new kitchen.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Ballistics tests conducted by top experts in the field will reveal that you throw like a goddamn girl.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Your refusal to become a team player is a disappointment to the others in your sign. Remember, it's not Sagittari-you.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Your growing paranoia is all in your mindñjust ask the KGB field operative who turned you into a top double agent.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    It's time to start acting your age: When most people turn 87, they've been dead a couple years.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    You are mystified by everyone's ability to deduce your musical tastes, political beliefs, and sexual habits from your sweater-vests.

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