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Horoscope for the week of October 6, 1999

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Saudi Authorities Decry Wasteful 3-Hour Death-Row Appeals Process

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Criticizing the amount of time and money wasted between a condemned individual’s sentencing and eventual execution, Saudi government officials expressed frustration Monday over the country’s costly three-hour appeals process for convicts facing the death penalty.

Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Nightlife

Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Horoscope for the week of October 6, 1999

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Try to exercise a little diplomacy this week, as you are the U.S. ambassador to Namibia.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    You don't understand the saying, "as serious as a heart attack," because all the ones you've seen have been hilarious.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    The stars say this will be a very good week for you creatively. That is, until your back is turned—you should hear what they say then.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Don't follow people blindly into decisions. However, blindly following them into intersections would be interesting.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You find yourself incapable of differentiating between right and wrong, making it much easier for you to watch TV.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You know darn well what's going to happen this week. You're going to clean that garage like you promised Virgo you would two weeks ago.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You will see something this week that really makes you think. It's just an unusual-looking rock, but it's a start.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You will cry because you have no shoes, until you see a man who has no feet. Then you will run away screaming and vomiting uncontrollably.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    The events of this week will teach you that people change. The events of next week will teach you that they sometimes change into evil, flesh-eating zombies.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    It's a big, beautiful world out there. Don't go out there for even a second.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You will use enough morphine this week to kill a team of oxen. Not that it's any of the stars' business or anything, but that's a pretty weird way to kill oxen.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    The Earth rising in your sign this week means romance, travel and that you're somehow standing on the surface of another planet.

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