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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Horoscope for the week of October 7, 1998

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You will fail to convince the police that you were innocently attempting to soothe the howler monkey.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Pluto is rising in your sign this week, prompting a $300 million copyright-infringement lawsuit by the Disney Corporation.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    The amused stars want to know if you’ll do that trick with the butcher knife, fireworks and can of gasoline one more time.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You will receive a useful gift in the mail. Unfortunately, it is a gift certificate to a Big, Fat & Doomed men's store.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Nothing can stop Destiny from exerting its powerful influence over you if it so desires. However, it does not.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Your life has become mired in routine and repetition. For a refreshing change, try not to kill any nursing students this week.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    The stars that influence your life are actually dance-floor strobe lights at a second-rate Miami nightclub, and they instruct you to shake what it took your mama nine months to make.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Your plans for the weekend seem simple enough, but they present a challenge when you realize that you have no idea how to "get some girls."
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Your inability to hear the letter s leads to humiliation when you wear a red wool outfit and carry a double-bitted axe and crosscut saw to a slumber party.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    The onset of autumn means one thing to Capricorn: Soon it will be time to swim upstream and spawn.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Though you are covered with pink fur, have a soft red rubber nose, and utter four simple phrases, you are by no means suitable for children.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    As foretold in Scripture, Christ will triumphantly return all your gifts this week.

More from this section

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

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