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What Is The Alt-Right?

A recent speech by Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton criticizing the “alt-right” movement and its support of Republican nominee Donald Trump has shone the national spotlight on the ideologically conservative group. Here’s what you need to know about the alt-right

Aunt On Facebook Casually Advocates War Crime

WILLIAMSPORT, PA—Arguing that it was time to deal decisively with the threat of terrorism, local aunt Deborah Massey casually advocated a war crime Monday in a brief Facebook post, sources confirmed. “Any city that has ISIS people hiding out in it needs to be bombed to the ground.

Dad Shares Photo Album Through Never-Before-Seen Website

SECAUCUS, NJ—Wondering aloud how the father of three even managed to find the online image-hosting service, family members of local dad Phil Yates told reporters Monday the 57-year-old had shared a photo album with them through a never-before-seen website.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

NASA Discovers Distant Planet Located Outside Funding Capabilities

WASHINGTON—Noting that the celestial body lies within the habitable zone of its parent star and could potentially harbor liquid water, NASA officials announced at a press conference Thursday they have discovered an Earth-like planet located outside their funding capabilities.

A Primer On Everyday Sexism

Though opportunities for women have increased considerably over the past century, insidious everyday sexism continues to inform the female experience. Here are some commonly asked questions about this pervasive form of discrimination

Diehard Trump Voters Confirm Rest Of Nation Should Stop Wasting Time Trying To Reach Them

‘If Anything Could Change Our Minds, It Would’ve Happened By Now,’ Say Candidate’s Supporters

WASHINGTON—Saying it should be very clear by now that absolutely nothing can change their position on the matter, steadfast supporters of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the rest of the nation Wednesday that it really shouldn’t bother trying to persuade them not to vote for him.
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Horoscopes 4142

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    It still seems that for every step forward, you take two to the side, three back, and then trip and fall off the side of a building, hitting the fire escape several times on the way down.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    You'll learn a lot about yourself this week, including the exact tensile strength of each of your ribs, the temperature at which your nasal cartilage melts, and where your fear of commitment comes from.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    While it's true that no one asked you if you wanted to be born, you must realize that's because you would have made a lot of demands as to when, where, and to whom.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You will be offered the chance to make amends with everyone you've ever wronged, but the stars are putting good money on your deciding not to.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Drinking is not the answer to your problems. However, since sex addiction is in fact the answer to all your problems, your lifestyle need not change.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    It is neither sentience nor a sense of humor that separates us from the animals. Turns out it's actually celebrity zookeeper Jack Hanna.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Your tactics of overwhelming your opposition with spectacular shows of force and choking the roads with fleeing refugees will be seen as inappropriate by the other electronics wholesalers.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You know that people change when they have children. That said, your transformation will be particularly remarkable when you discover you have two dozen of them, all with special needs.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Your self-destructive behavior resumes this week when you run out of anything else to destroy.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Your sudden and extreme maritime promotion can be traced less to competence and seamanship than to the tradition of captains going down with the ship.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    When all is said and done, everyone will have to admit that, while it might not have been worth the loss of your arm, you were right about caribou.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Taking some time off is fine, necessary even, but before you know it, three months have gone by and you haven't killed any more nurses.

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