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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Youe Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You will mistakenly bring your enemies list instead of your grocery list to the supermarket this week, resulting in the purchase of a bottle of Paul Newman's ranch dressing, a box of Uncle Ben's Minute Rice, and artichokes.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    A disastrous pattern error will result this week in a fashionable dress you are finally able to fit into.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Your reputation as a great conversationalist will be challenged this week, when you steer a discussion momentarily outside of the DC/Marvel universes.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    While at first it may have seemed like a pleasant, carefree way to pass the time, you'll be brought to your knees by next week's word jumble.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    It could just be a coincidence, but you're starting to suspect there's more to your local Barnes & Noble's decision to move its Gay/Lesbian section next to its Self-Help section.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You will succeed beyond your wildest expectations this week, when you win a pie-eating contest and then, minutes later, take first place in a pie-vomiting contest.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Long, gray beards have for centuries been linked to wisdom and shrewdness. Sadly, you get yours caught in the fax machine far too often for that to be the case.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Sure, it's disappointing, even heartbreaking, but if you look at it another way, everybody won that child-custody battle.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    What begins as an innocent, civilized debate over who has the sharpest butterfly knife will quickly turn heated this week, ending minutes later in unforeseen tragedy.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You've long known the guys at NASA have a tendency to pull pranks, but you'll still agree to check on a supposedly broken wind tunnel next week.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    After politely refusing to join the mile-high club, the three-quarter-mile-high club, and the half-mile-high club, you will finally acquiesce, and join the 322-feet-high club during next Monday's flight.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    You've experienced the convenience of the "copy" keyboard shortcut for years now, but it'll really start paying off after you discover the "paste" keyboard shortcut this week.
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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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