Aries | March 21 to April 19
You will begin the week feeling tired and "run down," but a delicious glass of grade-A milk will soon set you right as rain.
Taurus | April 20 to May 20
To be Number One, you must be willing to make sacrifices. Do not, however, deny yourself the taste of fresh creamery butter.
Gemini | May 21 to June 20
Begin your life-long quest for truth this week by fighting against this century's greatest lie: the myth of lactose intolerance.
Cancer | June 21 to July 22
This is an important time of spiritual growth for you. Banish all symbols from your life except for the Real Dairy seal.
Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22
Nothing dresses up that slimming diet meal like a peach slice on a snow-white bed of cottage cheese.
Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
Just as there are four points on the compass and four chambers in the human heart, there are four food groups—and dairy is the only one you can drink.
Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
Be sure to wash down all desserts, from cookies to cake, with an ice-cold glass of milk.
Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
You will soon take an exciting trip around the world and drink the milk of many an exotic creature.
Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
Ease the horrible repetition of your dead-end delivery job by thinking about delicious dairy products.
Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
It's no coincidence that they call it "the milk of human kindness."
Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
I always wanted to be a milkman— it’s the family business!
Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20
In Heaven, when you die, there will surely be plenty of milk.
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