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Vol 42 Issue 18

British: UFOs Aren't Real

A recently declassified British Ministry of Defence report says that UFOs can be explained as natural, though bizarre, phenomena. What do you...

Al-Jazeera In English?

Al-Jazeera, the Arab news station, is preparing to launch an international English-language version of their channel. What do you think?

FDA Still Against Medical Pot

Despite mounting evidence to support it, the FDA has reaffirmed its stance against the use of medical marijuana. What do you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries

    You've never enjoyed taking advantage of emotionally vulnerable individuals, but unfortunately, as a health-care professional, that's your job.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    Friends and co-workers would have a harder time guessing your bank account's PIN number if you didn't always drone on about your adorable cat, "4732."
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    Even though he lives nearly three states away and you haven't seen each other in years, you will eerily sense your twin brother's promotion to senior middle manager this week at the very moment it happens.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    While it's true that from the mouths of babes come pearls of wisdom, you'll nonetheless continue to touch yours inappropriately despite his incisive pleas
  • Leo

    Leo

    Almost an entire decade after your short-term memory first began to fail you, you will wonder aloud where your 70s went this week.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    Terror and panic will overwhelm you when a police officer reveals that the disturbing text messages you've been receiving are coming from inside the house.
  • Libra

    Libra

    You're not the type of person who easily believes racist conspiracy theories, but the premise that 12 Jewish bakers control all of the world's bagels actually seems pretty plausible.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    There's a lot you can learn from your personal failures, the most important lesson being that no matter what you attempt, or how much effort you put forth, you will never succeed.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    You will endure extreme physical pain and suffering at the hands of a vicious mixed-martial-arts fighter after stepping into what you believe to be a heptagon.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    Some women have the tendency to surround themselves with heftier friends to appear thinner, which explains your propensity for surrounding yourself with friends who look even more like Nick Nolte.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    You will soon be surprised to learn that your personal hell is actually quite similar, in more ways than you'll care to admit, to the Christian conception of hell.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    For two horrifying and heartrending hours immediately outside your beach house this week, the blue whale will become the largest land mammal.
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