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Vol 42 Issue 20

Italian Troops Out Of Iraq

Newly elected Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi said that the invasion of Iraq was a "grave error" and will propose withdrawing Italian troops....

NSA Spying On Journalists

According to ABC, a confidential source says the NSA has been tapping journalists' phones to root out confidential sources. What do you think?

Da Vinci Code Released

The release of The Da Vinci Code, the long-awaited film adaptation of the bestselling novel, is being met with controversy. What do you...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries

    You will struggle next week to take pleasure in the little things in life, particularly the flagellated protozoan parasite Giardia lamblia, which will manifest itself in your gastrointestinal tract and inflict agonizing abdominal pain.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    You will be betrayed this week, time and time again, by your own ch'i.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    You will feel very much like a fish out of water this week when your limbs are sadistically bound with rope and you are dropped off the bow of an ocean liner into the Pacific.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    You realize it's an uphill battle with no guarantee of success, but if you don't silently disapprove of racism, who will?
  • Leo

    Leo

    With the help of a Native American tracker and a reasonably fresh trail, you will hunt down just where in Michigan those elegant, pointed-toe heels are sold.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    After the murder of her husband, the kidnapping and subsequent drowning of her three children, and rape of her elderly mother behind a strip mall on the edge of town, you will have to hand it to your accuser for having one hell of a memory.
  • Libra

    Libra

    Disappointment will be yours this week when what you first believe to be the play's curtain call turns out to be just Act 1, Scene 2.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    As a beta tester for the latest version of QuarkXPress, you have seen some things the rest of the page-layout-designing world should never have to.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    While the countless differences between newborns and orange-juice cartons are clear, you will miss the most important distinction of all as you vigorously shake your two-month-old to death.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    A sluggish Red Cross blood drive combined with a fatal stab wound delivered to your chest just blocks from the main blood-donor clinic, will result in the worst medical attention you've ever received.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    An argument this week over the maximum weight capacity of your building's elevator will come to an abrupt end just moments after it began, essentially nullifying any well-thought-out arguments you may have had in the matter.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    It's true that they don't quite make them like they used to, but that's largely your fault for continuing to force them to procreate in your dilapidated backyard shed despite the growing risk of embryonic infection.
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