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Vol 42 Issue 21

School Monitors Student Blogs

A school district in Illinois is going to monitor students’ blogs and MySpace profiles for "illegal and inappropriate behavior." What do you...

.xxx Rejected

ICANN, the U.S.-based corporation that assigns Internet domain names, rejected the designation ".xxx" earlier this month under pressure from...

May 26, 1996

Oprah Secedes from U.S., Forms Independent Nation Of Cheesecake-Eating Housewives
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries

    Your tendency to see the worst in every situation will rob you of any pleasure you might have otherwise derived from next Thursday's biological-disease outbreak.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    After years of being unable to come to a decision without first consulting your parents, you'll take a giant leap forward this Friday, when both your mother and father fall into a vegetative coma.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    Remember: Give a man a compliment and you'll sate him for a day; teach a man how to fish for compliments and you'll feed his ego for life.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    They've taken to calling you a broken man, defeated, beaten, dispirited, hopeless—but then they have access to a thesaurus.
  • Leo

    Leo

    You'll be left rubbing your eyes in disbelief for hours on end this week, so taken aback will you be by the high concentrations of ragweed pollen and other common allergens in the air.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    Soon events surrounding you will have sociologists the world over talking about the first enduring and naturally occurring isolation chamber.
  • Libra

    Libra

    You may not be the most disorganized person on the planet, nor the most inefficient, but you'll be damned if you're going to let some revolutionary new product take the guesswork out of your life.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    Hot, stifling weather will have you running to the air-conditioned comforts of your local movie theater; unfortunately, you will not plan on the fact that this will mean having to sit through Al Gore's film An Inconvenient Truth.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    Though your teacher keeps reprimanding you for not paying enough attention in class, you remain completely unable to see what good Physical Education will do you out in the real world.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    Your inquisitive nature will open yet another door for you this week, although others are starting to grow irritated by your apparent inability to open it for yourself every now and then.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    A team of physicists, long uninspired and directionless, will refocus their efforts to build the world's first time machine after losing what seems like 50 years in conversation with you.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    While one man's trash may be another man's treasure, there's really no reason why you should be wearing that dead kitten as a crown.
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