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Vol 42 Issue 25

Death Penalty For Hussein?

Chief prosecutor Jaafar al-Moussawi called for the death penalty for Saddam Hussein for crimes against humanity during attacks on Shiite civilians in...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries

    You will learn the hard way this week that, while rescue workers can take your boy out of the Mississippi River, they can't take the Mississippi River out of your boy.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    At this rate, weekly psychiatric sessions will help to cure you of your single-minded materialistic worldview in no time.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    To commemorate 20 years of being happily separated, you and your ex-husband will decide to renew your divorce vows this week.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    You've always prided yourself on being able to both "talk the talk" and "walk the walk," but, sadly, a debilitating stroke will soon leave you unable to do either.
  • Leo

    Leo

    Endless complaints that your talents are being wasted at work will finally pay off when management decides to promote you to the new position of "Head Whiner."
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    After 86 years spent dreading the moment it would occur, your lengthy past will catch up with you this week.
  • Libra

    Libra

    The stars take great offense at your offhand dismissal of their predictions as "a whole lot of hot air," since they are by definition large celestial bodies composed of masses of gas in which the energy generated by internal nuclear reactions is balanced by the release of heat.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    It is unwise to judge a book by its cover, especially if the cover contains an enthusiastic blurb from the Oklahoma Evening Gazette.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    Your ideological resistance to purchasing anything produced at overseas sweatshops will greatly complicate an otherwise straightforward purchase of three Indonesian children on the black market.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    While it's easy to get overwhelmed, just remember: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single plane-ticket reservation.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    To no avail, you will once again pray exactly 223 times for God to heal you of your lifelong obsessive-compulsive disorder.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    Several dozen blemishes on your permanent record will prevent you from getting into the maximum-security prison of your choice next week.
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