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Vol 42 Issue 29

Orlando Murder Rate Up

Orlando, Florida, home to Walt Disney World, is on track in 2006 to have the most murders in 24 years. What do you think?

Voting Rights Act Extended

On Thursday, the U.S. Senate approved a 25-year extension of the 1965 Voting Rights Act, which protected the voting rights of African Americans. What...

Stem-Cell Science Vetoed

President Bush executed his first veto since entering office on a bill supporting stem-cell research. What do you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries

    While the news is certainly sad, take heart in knowing that your mother is in a better place now, even if that place is a cramped wooden coffin, six feet underground.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    Despite sharing similar backgrounds, the use of abstract language in complex arrangements, and a capacity for the construction of primitive tools, you'll finally admit that things just aren't working out with that cute young primate.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    After years of putting up an emotional wall to keep loved ones from getting too close, you'll realize the error of your ways this Thursday and purchase three tons of brick and cement.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    You'll know you've made it as a drag queen this week when four unidentified men jump you from behind, shatter six of your ribs, and walk away shouting anti-gay epithets at your crumpled form.
  • Leo

    Leo

    With the exception of perhaps the stars, nobody would have ever guessed you'd end up a pedophile— much less a pediatrician.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    In a stirring display of national unity next week, you and two million other participants will join hands to form an unbroken chain across the Mexican-American border.
  • Libra

    Libra

    Remember: It may take a village to raise a child, but, as U.S. Air Force recruiters have known for years now, it takes only one child to raze a village.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    Take heart in knowing that, someday, you'll inspire a whole new generation to pursue their dreams, secure in the knowledge that they couldn't possibly do any worse than you.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    Panicked and fearing no other existing option, you will knock your girlfriend down only one month after knocking her up.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    A thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters for a thousand years may not be able to produce the works of Shakespeare, but they could probably come up with a better hyperbole in half that time.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    A string of murders by an unidentified assailant dubbed the "East Side Slasher" will raise not only important questions about your town's lack of security but, more importantly, about its complete lack of cross-town public transportation.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    In time many will come to see you as a veritable hobbling encyclopedia of surgery complications and mishaps.
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