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Vol 42 Issue 37

2nd Autopsy For Anna Nicole's Son

A second autopsy will be performed on Anna Nicole Smith's 20-year-old son who died at her bedside while she was hospitalized in the Bahamas. What do...

Horse Meat Banned

Congress has banned the slaughter of horses for meat, calling the process "barbaric." What do you think?

Care For 9/11 Illness

People who worked or lived near Ground Zero are demanding health-care for illnesses related to the poor air quality after the attacks. What do...

Sept. 12, 1972

Puke Orange, Pea Green, Mustard Yellow Adopted as New National Colors
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries

    Tomorrow will be the perfect day to curl up in bed with a good book and sob hysterically about how you never properly learned to read.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    You'll finally admit that getting a tattoo of your favorite rock band might have been a mistake. Sadly, it'll take the results of next Thursday's HIV test to bring the realization about.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    Repeated, escalating strikes of a hammer against your kneecaps will test not only your body's natural reflexes, but also your ability to figure out that the man in the white coat isn't really a doctor.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    It is said that the eyes are the windows to one's soul, which helps explain why so many damn birds keep flying into them.
  • Leo

    Leo

    While truth can often be found at the heart of good humor, everyone will laugh at your dissertation on "Political Obligation And The Just State" for a completely different reason.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    You have no sympathy for people who always take the easy way out of difficult situations. What you have for them is empathy.
  • Libra

    Libra

    After 30 grueling miles, you'll finally hit a wall next week while driving back home in your car.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    Your elderly mother will go quietly in her sleep, dying painfully moments later from the lethal combination of urine and a poorly insulated electric blanket.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    The stars think it's time you stopped letting fear control your life, and started letting it control the lives of those around you.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    Thankfully, you'll already be seated when doctors break the news of your complete paralysis from the waist down.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    Look on the bright side: The recent yellowing of your skin might just be a sign of personal maturation.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    While he'll respond to almost every other inquiry, a time traveler from the not-so-distant future will refuse to disclose whether that's your leather jacket he's wearing.
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