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Vol 42 Issue 38

$2 Billion Environment Pledge

Richard Branson, the eccentric head of the Virgin Group, has pledged two billion dollars to fight global warming. What do you think?

Bloodless Thai Coup

Thailand went through a bloodless coup while the President was out in the United States to address the United Nations. That do you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries

    A whirlwind office romance will bloom today between you and that stunning spreadsheet that tracks all funded programs, their revenue sources, and the deductible services they provide.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    You'll receive an important life lesson from Jan-Michael Vincent this week after everyone in town starts calling you the boy who cried Airwolf.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    For whatever reason, lately it feels like your heart just isn't into pumping blood through its arteries and cardiac veins by repeated, rhythmic contractions.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    Unwavering faith in a supreme, all-knowing being that controls the universe will help you to overcome a series of rational and seemingly insurmountable arguments this week.
  • Leo

    Leo

    The truth is, even if you were to throw away your complete collection of Hustler magazines, you'd still be left with a lot of issues.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    Fed up with being exploited and mistreated at work, you'll finally take control of your life this Thursday and hand in your two-year notice of resignation.
  • Libra

    Libra

    The sight of an elderly man riding a child's merry-go-round in the rain will resonate deeply with you today as a metaphor for absolutely everything.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    You'll be cured of a lifelong phobia this week after realizing that heights are just as scared of you as you are of them.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    Your incredible reflexes, hand-eye coordination, and taciturn manner will cause you to become known throughout the West as The Man Who Handcuffed Lightning But Was Afraid To Talk About His True Feelings.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    The fifth coming of Jesus Christ this week will reveal that you haven't been paying as much attention as you'd thought.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    Racial tensions will suddenly and fortunately be broken this week by the unexpected arrival of an Asian.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    While a persistent case of writer's block may have driven you right to the edge, it will continue to delay your suicide for months to come.
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