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How Fashion Trends Arise

With the growing popularity of “fast fashion,” or designs that move quickly from the runway to retail chains, many wonder how their favorite styles first arise. The Onion breaks down the process step by step

SpaceX’s Plan To Colonize Mars

SpaceX founder Elon Musk continues to lay the groundwork to attempt the human colonization of Mars. Here’s a step-by-step guide to his plan:

Bill Clinton Resting Up To Sit Upright At Next Debate

CHAPPAQUA, NY—Stating that the former commander-in-chief had his sights squarely set on next Sunday, spokespeople for the Hillary for America campaign informed reporters Wednesday that Bill Clinton is currently resting up in preparation for another evening of sitting upright at the next presidential debate.

Cyclist Clearly Loves Signaling Turns

MILWAUKEE—Judging by the firm outward thrust of the woman’s arm and the length of times she held the gestures, witnesses confirmed Wednesday that a local bicycle rider clearly loves signaling turns.

Fact-Checking The First Presidential Debate

Addressing issues ranging from national security to trade to their personal controversies, Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump squared off in the first presidential debate Monday. The Onion takes a look at the validity of their bolder claims:
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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    While at first lighthearted and even fun, the mood will quickly turn this week when a road trip is taken too far.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    The birth of your first child will bring about a newfound sense of responsibility in friends, family members, and child-protection officials.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Of all the plans you had for what you'd do with a million dollars, serving 12 years for grand larceny was probably pretty low on the list.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    A gas-powered chainsaw will cut off circulation in both of your arms, each leg, and a rather large chunk of your midsection.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You will remark, incorrectly, that the skinhead movement in America appears to be dying out, after visiting a Mississippi cancer ward this week.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    A drunken attempt to take your anger out on a nearby yacht later this week will accidentally result in the vessel's christening.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You will once again play the role of straight man this week to a long, tangled stretch of extension cord.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Your forgetful tendencies will infuriate those closest to you this week when you walk out, back in, and right out again on your wife and kids.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Despite a lukewarm reaction from friends and family members, you still believe your life could someday make a great topic of conversation.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Launching a powerful laser pointer into space, an evil teenage mastermind will soon threaten to humiliate the world unless his demands are met.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    A private discussion among friends this week will leave you deeply ashamed about the size of your severance package.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    It seems like only yesterday that you were a child, but that's primarily due to the rare genetic disorder progeria.

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