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Goodwill Executives Arrested After Years Of Skimming Donated Goods Off Top

ROCKVILLE, MD—In what authorities are calling one of the most wide-reaching and deplorable cases of embezzlement in recent history, seven executives at Goodwill Industries International were arrested Thursday for allegedly skimming used clothing, old furniture, small appliances, and thousands of other donated items from the charitable group.

Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Your repeated cries for help will be drowned out this week by a 300-pound man, a coarse length of rope, and a metal basin filled with water.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    While everyone expresses affection in their own unique way, your approach of communicating it through plainspoken words and genuine sentiment is really starting to freak people out.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Unlike everything else in your life, you will take news this week of your skyrocketing cholesterol levels with a grain of salt.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You've never stood in the way of stem-cell research, and you never will, after next week's car wreck.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    While it’s been ages since you last cried about having no shoes, you’ll still keep running into that creepy man without feet every other week.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    The innocence and purity of children will teach you a valuable lesson this week about your state's age-of-consent laws.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    After a month of worry, you'll be mistakenly relieved this week after hearing that all your medical tests came out positive.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Although you'll ultimately lose after 30 hard-fought minutes, many will remember you as "the man who brought out the very best in those defibrillators."
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    For the fifth straight night, you'll have that recurring sleep in which you crawl into bed around 11 p.m., turn off the lights, and wake up the next morning feeling rested and refreshed.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You'll fail to appreciate the reunion of caustic pranksters The Jerky Boys during this Thursday's 20-minute impromptu phone call.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Repeated miscarriages, while emotionally devastating, will leave you with an extensive backlog of dozens of beautiful baby names.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Despite its many promotional offers and money-saving bargains, part of you just doesn't want to belong to any Sam's Club that would have you as a member.