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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.
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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    While your dream of opening your very own coffee shop will ultimately fail, you'll still succeed in doing what few ever could by opening your very own wrists.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    You've never really imagined yourself as the committed type, but a state-appointed psychiatrist will soon prove you wrong.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You will fly into a blind, towering, destructive, psychotic, and ultimately murderous rage this week over the excessive use of adjectives in today's popular writing.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Although you often say that suffering a stroke is nothing to laugh about, the way your tongue swashes about helplessly as you struggle to form the words only hurts your case.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Your paranoid ramblings will once again give the seven government agents who gather each morning at a subterranean, state-of-the-art civilian surveillance facility a good laugh.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Despite having certain doubts and nagging suspicions about the matter, you'd never go so far as to call yourself a Holocaust "denier."
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You may be dishonest, deceitful, and even untrustworthy, but the one thing you're not is someone who tells the truth.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Ever since you can remember, you've always been the curious sort, forever asking about the accident you were in, how many months have passed since, and when, if ever, your long-term memory will return.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    It's been years since you last spoke to your father, but with the game going into double overtime you have no other choice but to wait a little longer.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Confirming your suspicions, a study this week will reveal that 86 percent of all human suffering takes place while waiting in line.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Dead bodies, stumbled upon at regular intervals, will help you to keep track of your progress while hiking.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    While your claims of being a self-made woman are valid, everyone's still a little distracted by all the purplish-black scars and amateurish stitching.

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