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Vol 43 Issue 02

Cell-Phone TV?

Verizon Wireless announced that it will soon offer TV service over its cell-phone network. What do you think?

Bill Parcells: 'I've Always Hated Football'

DALLAS—In the last press conference Bill Parcells would give this year after leading the Cowboys through a frustrating 9-7 season and an excruciating first-round playoff loss to the Seattle Seahawks, the hard-nosed coach surprised reporters...

U.S. Bombs Somalia

The U.S. has initiated a series of attacks in southern Somalia aimed at suspected members of al Qaeda. What do you think?
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries

    When times are tough and the world around you seems grim, don't be afraid to turn to religion for a good, hearty laugh.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    Your bold, take-no-prisoners attitude has made you who you are today: one of the least successful criminal prosecutors in the country.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    A profound sense of sorrow will be brought on this week by the realization that you've grown too old to have fewer children.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    Your science-fiction novel will be heralded as a "work of utmost urgency and importance" by critics in a mirror universe this week.
  • Leo

    Leo

    Inmates across the country will soon recount the story of how you once made a small shiv from nothing more than a larger shiv.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    While couples who live together often begin to look alike over time, an apartment-wide fire this week will bring about the resemblance in just hours.
  • Libra

    Libra

    Remember: Only by looking deep within yourself, will you find the answer to your nagging digestive troubles.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    Was it Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick? Or did Professor Plum commit the crime in the library with the lead pipe? Either way, nobody will be interested in playing your new rape edition of the classic board game Clue.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    You will experience debilitating pain, unspeakable agony, and the loss of all of your hair when a voodoo doll bearing your likeness falls into the hands of a 5-year-old girl.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    Attempts at self-medicating with alcohol will once again fail to treat your rampant alcoholism.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    Filled with self-hate and disgust, you'll try to justify your actions by remarking that in dog years the terrier was probably of age.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    A magical, life-affirming night of passion will be regarded as little more than an error in judgment by your true soul mate this week.
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