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Goals Of The Paris Climate Talks

Over 150 world leaders are meeting in Paris this week to address the global effects of climate change in the hopes that a unified international effort can avert grave future consequences for the planet. Here are the major goals of the Paris climate talks

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    When times are tough and the world around you seems grim, don't be afraid to turn to religion for a good, hearty laugh.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Your bold, take-no-prisoners attitude has made you who you are today: one of the least successful criminal prosecutors in the country.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    A profound sense of sorrow will be brought on this week by the realization that you've grown too old to have fewer children.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Your science-fiction novel will be heralded as a "work of utmost urgency and importance" by critics in a mirror universe this week.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Inmates across the country will soon recount the story of how you once made a small shiv from nothing more than a larger shiv.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    While couples who live together often begin to look alike over time, an apartment-wide fire this week will bring about the resemblance in just hours.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Remember: Only by looking deep within yourself, will you find the answer to your nagging digestive troubles.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Was it Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick? Or did Professor Plum commit the crime in the library with the lead pipe? Either way, nobody will be interested in playing your new rape edition of the classic board game Clue.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You will experience debilitating pain, unspeakable agony, and the loss of all of your hair when a voodoo doll bearing your likeness falls into the hands of a 5-year-old girl.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Attempts at self-medicating with alcohol will once again fail to treat your rampant alcoholism.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Filled with self-hate and disgust, you'll try to justify your actions by remarking that in dog years the terrier was probably of age.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    A magical, life-affirming night of passion will be regarded as little more than an error in judgment by your true soul mate this week.