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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    For centuries fire was a sacred symbol of vitality and strength. Keep this in mind as you roll around frantically on your kitchen floor this Thursday.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    The fruits of your labor will finally ripen this week, before going soft and filling with mold two days later.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    It may take more muscles to smile than it does to frown, but with 90 percent of your body completely paralyzed, even frowning would be a worthwhile workout.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Your imagination is the limit! Try visualizing what your future would look like as head garbageman!
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    The explosion of a blood vessel beneath your brain's memory center will soon give you the fresh start you've been searching for.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    A thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters will finally produce the complete works of William Shakespeare, only to dismiss them as inferior to the oeuvre of Christopher Marlowe, or even  Francis Bacon at his height.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Don't be surprised this week if someone strangles you with a length of piano wire as you read about your future.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    When life gives you lemons, why not blame them on your troubled upbringing and consequent inability to show affection? It sure beats making lemonade.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Don't listen to what others may be saying about your highly unstable nature and crippling psychosis. After all, most of those voices exist only in your head.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You will once again dress up as an emotionally stunted man-child for Halloween this year.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Nobody said that it was going to be easy, or fun, or even practical. But then nobody really said much about your desire to take up differential calculus.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    The stars think it's time you stopped skirting around the issue and finally told your cat how you really feel.

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