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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    A bouncing baby boy will enter your life this week, before shooting across the floor, ricocheting off the kitchen counter, and flying straight out the window again.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Having your teeth fall out in a dream usually signifies pent up anxiety and frustration. Having them fall out while you're still awake, however, signifies something much, much worse.
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    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Everyone laughed when you said the CIA was running mind-control experiments, but they won't be laughing this week when you're admitted to a local insane asylum.
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    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You'll struggle to remember how you ever got around before owning a car, which is to be expected after suffering a head-on collision like that.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Turns out it's actually two men inside a large horse costume, and that your daughter will be scarred for the rest of her life.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Admitting failure has never been your strong suit. Thankfully, this week's stench will say more than mere words ever could.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Who is the real prisoner? The man locked behind bars, or the man who is free, but unable to control his own destiny? You'll soon have 20 years without parole to figure it out.
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    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Self-improvement may be a noble goal, but the stars aren't so sure the leg rests, dual cup-holders, and wood paneling are what people had in mind.
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    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You'll be swept away by a love that knows no name this week, or so you'll think until coming across the medical term "dendrophilia."
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You're always worried about where your next meal will come from. Sadly, this has less to do with your financial situation and more to do with you being a gluttonous fuck.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Artists from around the world would love nothing more than to paint your portrait, but that's mostly because your face presents a number of unique aesthetic challenges.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    The good news is that the world is indeed your oyster. The bad news, however, is that you're allergic to shellfish.

More from this section

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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