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Vol 44 Issue 13

90210 Being Remade

Nineties teen soap opera Beverly Hills 90210 is being remade with a whole new cast of characters. What do you think?

Dancer Risks Everything

CHICAGO—In a daring show of hip-hop-infused ballet, a Chicago Academy of the Arts student put it all on the line and found the rhythm that was always within her.
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Partying

Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries

    The stars were going to warn you about next Friday, but they've decided it would be funnier if you found out about the goats yourself.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    You'll finally lose your virginity this week, though unfortunately for you, it will be to an active volcano.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    They say no news is good news, but you're beginning to suspect there's a reason why those doctors keep avoiding your calls.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    Embarrassment will be yours this week when you're caught peeking over someone's shoulder during an important test. The fact that it's a urine test also won't help.
  • Leo

    Leo

    Your interest in temporal paradoxes ends almost before it begins this week, which considering the subject matter, is strangely fitting.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    Exposure to bursts of gamma radiation will soon leave you with the tumor-growing ability of 10 regular men.
  • Libra

    Libra

    You've always believed yourself to be filled with self-hatred, but as it turns out you're actually filled with half self-hatred, half triple-fudge ice cream.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    While you admit you've made some mistakes in the past, the clockwork regularity and strangely detached manner in which you do so is really starting to freak people out.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    Your health will continue to decline this week due to your tendency to catch every little sniffle, cough, and axe that comes your way.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    Due to a series of budgetary cutbacks, your horoscope will be the same as Virgo's until further notice.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    Remember: A man is often known by the company he keeps. Take immediate action to shut down Wanton Bigotry, Inc.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    Your grisly death beneath a pile of cinnamon rolls this week will prove true one of Nostradamus' least likely prophecies.
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