Your Horoscope

Top Headlines

Recent News

Goals Of The Paris Climate Talks

Over 150 world leaders are meeting in Paris this week to address the global effects of climate change in the hopes that a unified international effort can avert grave future consequences for the planet. Here are the major goals of the Paris climate talks

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage



Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You will awake to find a newborn infant on your doorstep, which isn't surprising, as that's where you left him the night before.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    The stars indicate this is a good week to get your life in order, making you glad you don't believe in all that astrology crap.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Your first time will feel like fireworks. Unfortunately for you, they're the kind that accidentally set off in your hands and leave you disfigured for decades to come.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    While no man controls his own destiny, a little self-restraint might keep you from ending up inside that bakery three nights a week.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Your tendency to gamble will result in you losing your house, your car, and your family. Although it's infidelity and not betting that will be to blame.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    People claim that age is nothing more than a state of mind, making this week's stroke revealing on a couple of different levels.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You may be invisible to those around you, but remember: It's not the type of invisible that lets you have sex with unsuspecting and bewildered women.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Strong eye contact and a firm handshake will help you to make significant strides in the world of being a humongous prick this week.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    A wise man once said that the only thing that fails to change is the fact that nothing ever stays the same. However, this was before he realized how stupid it sounded.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Avoid making any important decisions this week. And, come to think of it, next week as well. In fact, assume this to always be the case unless the stars tell you otherwise.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    They say you have a face for radio, but what they don't mention is that your massive harelip would probably keep you off most professional stations.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Women often claim that a sense of humor is the most important trait in a prospective partner. Sadly, yours is not good enough to realize that they're only joking.