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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Your water will break while watching a performance of The Marriage Of Figaro, causing you great surprise, as you are not pregnant, female, or interested in opera.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Everyone will be talking about your wonderful personality and kind nature next week, which is customary at funerals.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You will combine a pair of novelty underpants and your considerable ventriloquism skills to give a certain special lady the worst first date of her life.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    The stars indicate that they know very well who ate the last of the cottage cheese and would appreciate you replacing it, thank you.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    The little black dress is an instant sophisticator—slimming, elegant, and timeless—but you'd be better off going with something flame-resistant this weekend.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    After six weeks, you still haven't figured out how Jonah got so much done inside one of these things.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    A team of FDA physicians and researchers will soon come out with a 45-page, item-by-item recall of everything you've eaten in the past six months.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Remember: Just because you read it in a book doesn't mean it's true. There's no such thing as a "John Updike."
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You will die of dehydration and malnutrition next week, shortly after hitting the snooze button for the 234,734th time.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Just because the ambulances go by at high speeds does not mean they want to race you.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    The nation is stunned by Amelia Earhart's miraculous return, especially when she knees you in the groin and shouts, "Thanks for nothing."
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Your admirable decision to lead a life of honesty and moral rectitude will bring your career in advertising to a sudden and drastic end.