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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You'll make all the women swoon this week, thanks to a damp rag and a handy bottle of chloroform.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    It's not that you should be eating less, or even that you should be exercising more; it's that the stars have to waste their valuable time telling you.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Look to the Bible for solace this week. Or to any other work of fiction that may help you to escape.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    While it's true that the universe works in mysterious ways, it's becoming pretty clear what it has against you.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You'll have mixed feelings this week when several leading gourmands describe you as "succulent" and "falling off the bone."
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    There's a fine line between comedy and tragedy. A fine line you will soon trip over, before rolling down the stairs and smashing your skull open on the concrete floor.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You'll be inconsolable this Thursday, or at least you would be, were anyone to actually try.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    The strange men in lab coats will administer a series of electric shocks, painful injections, and radioactive treatments. They will then stop goofing around and get back to work.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    The story of your life will be filled with action, adventure and romance. Sadly, it will also be filled with huge, sprawling typos.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You'll feel like a class-A moron this week when the U.S. government begins grouping citizens based on their overall level of intellect.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    It may seem like just a birthmark to you, but the mole on your back grants you entry into the Secret Order of Melanoma.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    If there's one thing about you, it's that you're a genuine and caring person. If there are two things about you, however, it's that you're easily placated by insincere flattery.