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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Your Horoscope

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Get back to the basics of family this week. Have your mother feed, bathe, and change you.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    You will realize you've become part of the problem when you board a train that leaves Philadelphia at noon traveling 45 miles an hour.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    It may seem like it's all wrapped up neatly, but admit it: You still have no idea who killed the chauffeur.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Thursday will usher in a new era of love and prosperity for Cancer, which is only fair considering what happens Friday.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Some things just go together perfectly, but no one would've believed it was true about cocaine and rhinos until you came along.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Your plan to commit the perfect crime is flawed in one important aspect: Sitting on the couch watching football all weekend is not illegal.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Though Boyle's Third Law is certainly important, you don't need to apply it to every situation you encounter.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You've always been a lightning rod for controversy, but it gets worse when you become an actual lightning rod.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    The stars know this relationship isn't always easy, baby, but give it a chance. They promise you won't regret it.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Unfortunately, your grandmother isn't smiling down on you from her new home in heaven. She is, however, shrieking up at you from where she is.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    If you use the phrase "proactive revenue streaming" one more time, the stars will see to it that you never meet any handsome dark strangers again.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Your desiccated remains will be found on a desert island along with an empty water bottle, three emergency ration packages, and the exact right CD for the occasion.

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