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Vol 44 Issue 11

New York Governor Resigns

After confessing to being involved in a prostitution ring, New York governor Eliott Spitzer resigned Wednesday. What do you think?

Brett Favre

His talent made him great. His flaws, unfortunately, made him human.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscopes

  • Aries

    Aries

    Losing a limb can be a trying and traumatic experience, but you'll be an expert at it by the end of the week.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it, which explains why you keep trying to invade Russia during the summer of 1941.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    You'll soon leave your own personal mark on the world, at least until emergency crews have time to arrive and hose it off.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    All of your money problems will be solved this week when you realize that those large piles of "cash" can be exchanged for goods and services.
  • Leo

    Leo

    It's a filthy habit and you should really know better at your age. Then again, there's something to be said for the convenience of diapers.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    The stars indicate that this is a good week to spend surrounded by loved ones, especially your father, and especially before Thursday.
  • Libra

    Libra

    You claim to be more of a leader than a follower, but that's only because you've heard other people say the same thing before.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    All of those hurtful mother-in-law jokes will come back to haunt you this Friday when you suddenly run out of hurtful mother-in-law jokes to tell.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    The "smoking monkey" gag is a comedy classic, but that was before he started trying to bum cigarettes from you.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    You will suffer the greatest humiliation of your life this week when community leaders decide to tear you down for being an eyesore.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    Love can make a person do all sorts of weird and crazy things, but in your case, it'll mostly involve showering.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    The Grim Reaper himself will visit you this evening, but much to your dismay, all he really wants is to borrow another 20 dollars.
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