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Strongside/Weakside: Jurgen Klinsmann

Despite leading the U.S. men’s national team through the so-called “Group of Death” in the 2014 World Cup, Jurgen Klinsmann has come under heavy criticism this week after his side finished fourth in the 2015 Gold Cup. Is he any good?

How Apple Plans To Rebound From Apple Watch Flop

With sales of the Apple Watch reportedly down 90 percent since its initial release, Apple is suffering in the wearables market and faces a lack of enthusiasm about its latest product. Here are some ways Apple can improve the watch and prevent the company from falling into a slump:
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Your Horoscopes

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Don't worry your pretty little head about next week's events. Instead, worry your pretty little arms, your pretty little legs, and that pretty little spine of yours about it.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    The stars would love to give you some relationship advice, but then, they're still quite tired from having all that sex with your wife.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You'll be honored this week by the prestigious Academy Of Just Handing These Damn Things Out To Whoever's Around.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    They say animals can often sense an earthquake moments before it strikes, which explains why so many of them are smiling at you right now.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    A premature and rather curious birth this week will bring new meaning to the idiom "all thumbs."
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Your coworkers are beginning to tire of your lame excuses. Although, to be fair, that's really your plumber's fault.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Looking back on it now, letting Sam Peckinpah direct your home movies was probably a big mistake.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Note: This week's horoscope has been classified by the CIA due to a series of national security concerns. The constellation Scorpio has already been detained.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You've never felt comfortable with math or science, which makes complete sense, as the two disciplines molested you as a child.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    The judge will sentence you to three weeks of community service work at a nearby park, which is exactly what you were doing when the cops picked you up.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Low-Risk Mutual Funds and Tax-Exempt Municipal Bonds might seem like a safe bet. But then, picking a racehorse based solely on its name is never the way to go.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Remember: Spring is a time of renewal and rebirth. Barricade the door to your goddamn basement before it arrives.