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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscopes

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    The stars believe that a person must make his own mistakes, but they warn you not to do anything that may, say, burn down Chicago this week.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Only God can judge you. Unfortunately, He's been appearing to all your friends and telling them what an asshole you are.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    The black widow spider does not have the most powerful venom of any spider in the world, but it's still going to do quite a number on your legs.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    The truth is indeed elusive, hard to comprehend, and subjective. What we're trying to say is: You're fat.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    There hasn't been a stampeding death in your area in more than a century, but your air horn and steer costume will change all that.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Take solace in this: There is a meaning and purpose to the universe, even if it's far too complicated for you to understand, and won't pay off for years.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Some may call your breast implants tacky, but at least you had the guts to try out unconventional shapes.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You've always been a fashion-forward trendsetter, which is why, after next Thursday, they'll all be saying that getting shot in the face is the new black.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Gradual, almost imperceptible change will make you a better person over the course of the next 37,000 years.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    The stars could reveal your future, but they'd just be repeating what the Love Tester at the fair already told you.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    People will come from miles around to seek your wisdom on all manner of things, which is proof that people will do anything for a good laugh.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    You'll never smile again after the tragic loss of your lower jaw and lips this week.