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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Your Horoscopes

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Your life will be drab and gray until you discover that your stuffed animals can be posed in amusing sexual positions.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Don't be so sensitive. Sometimes, when people say "big, fat, flaming asshole," they really just mean "fat asshole."
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You're the kind of person who likes to have the right tool for the job, so don't be caught without a complete set of dental picks this week.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Jupiter is in your sun sign this week, making it pretty crowded in there, what with Jupiter being the largest of the planets and all.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You thought true love would last forever, but you're shocked to discover an expiration date printed on the back, just below the consumer warnings.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Financial reward could be in your future this week, as Gemini is offering limited-time zero-percent interest on all balances transferred from other Zodiac signs. Apply now.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You will fall victim to a dangerous personality disorder that makes you believe that the personal lives of celebrities are interesting and important.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Frankly, the stars don't understand what your problem is with calamari. So what if it's tentacles? It's delicious! Eat it already!
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You'll feel cheated this week when you discover there's no law that says you have to be nice to old ladies.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Next week will be a time of great financial and emotional rewards. It's just too bad you won't be there to see it.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Your shocking decision to pose nude in Cosmopolitan may not have created such a stir had you asked the editors' permission first.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    The stars indicate you shouldn't forget Katya's potluck this Friday at 6 p.m.