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50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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Your Horoscopes

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You'll find Jesus this week, more or less in the exact same place you lost him: underneath the football bleachers behind school.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Look, the stars foresee whatever the hell you want them to foresee, okay? Good. Now, let's all just move on with our respective days.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Yelling "fire!" at the top of your lungs will not only not help people evacuate faster, but it'll also convince most of them that there's some sort of fire they need to outrun.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    They say you're just a big kid trapped in a grown man's body, but then, they've never really seen you what you look like naked in front of the mirror before.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    When threatened, armadillos are known to curl up into a protective ball for hours on end—a practice that will make this week's encounter with one a rather embarrassing stalemate.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Though your new prosthetic is incredibly lifelike, many can tell it's not real, mostly because people don't have three ears.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    A series of runaway gasoline trucks will soon prove that dying young and leaving a pretty corpse behind don't necessarily go hand in hand.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    We all stand on the shoulders of giants. Some of us, however, do it in order to flash the band.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You truly believe that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, making you the most powerful 400-pound chain-smoking chronic masturbator in the world.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    While it's true that history is written by the winners, it, like most everything else in life, is copyedited by the losers.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You'll finally see your friends for who they really are this week: good and decent people desperately trying to inch themselves away from you.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    While having high expectations for oneself can be productive, it can also be lead to heartache and disappointment, especially for a giant loser such as yourself.

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