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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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Your Horoscopes

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Your body will soon go through a series of new and exciting changes, thanks in large part to the amazing reconstructive work of Dr. Howard Rosenthall.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Remember: It's always a good idea to wait at least 30 minutes before going ahead and defecating in the pool.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You'll once again fall for the oldest trick in the book this week, moments after picking up a copy of the King James Bible.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Turns out it's actually a grease fire, that pitcher is filled with gasoline, and all those firefighters are merely strippers.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    While teaching the lowland gorilla how to communicate is entirely possible, getting the self-obsessed primate to shut the hell up is a whole other story.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Your insistence on having your father walk you down the aisle may seem odd to some, especially considering the two of you are only going grocery shopping.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    The otherworldly spirit of William Safire will visit you this evening and spend the next three hours correcting every grammatical mistake you've ever made.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You'll have a hard time controlling yourself this week, but then that's what the serene-looking men in lab coats are here for.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Due to adverse weather conditions and severe delays, your next stop this evening will no longer be "Party Town!"
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Your big mouth will get you in a lot of trouble this week, though it's actually your small jaw that'll be to blame.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Life may seem like one big game to you, which explains the little plastic tokens, the† six-sided dice, and your repeated utterances of "sorry!"
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Take the stars' word for it: That guy Dave from work really has it coming.

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