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‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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Your Horoscopes

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever you're doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it's two steps back. Yeah, that's good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you're far enough.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Sure, they're quite festive-looking, and they certainly help to spread holiday cheer, but maybe it's time you got those antlers checked.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Remember: Don't let any man tell you what to do. Or who to do it to. Or what the hell they're even talking about in the first place.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    When played with skill and grace, the game of soccer is like poetry in motion. Which explains all the bored-stiff people just pretending to follow along.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You'll popularize a new dance craze this week, thanks in large part to the large, feral raccoon clawing at your back.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Virgo is often known for its stubborn and headstrong nature. Yes, it is. Yes, it fucking is.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You're about to enter a strange upside-down universe, one where white is black, black is white, and people don't need to remind you when to chew.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Doctors will refuse to operate on you this week, not due to any moral dilemmas, fiscal concerns, or even health-related fears. They're just vindictive bastards.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You've never worked a day in your life, though that's mainly because you keep getting the damn graveyard shift.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Remember: There's no use in screaming and crying all day long. They're going to change your diaper when they get to it.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Everyone would stop telling you to keep your hands to yourself, if they only knew what you did with them.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    They say the children are our future. However, what they fail to mention is that it's a post-apocalyptic future, where the blood of small infants will be used to feed our giant man-machine overlords.

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