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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Your Horoscopes

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Your expanding consciousness will bring you a deeper and deeper understanding of the universe until your head bursts like an overripe melon.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Everyone doubted you when you said you were going to bike across the country last summer. Make them feel bad by telling them it's their fault you didn't.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You will bring shame to your town coroner by causing him to laugh uncontrollably throughout your autopsy.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Though you insist you can stop drinking whenever you want, the truth is, you can't seem to function without five or six pints of water a day.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You tend to fly into a rage over the smallest problems. Fortunately, you'll encounter only huge disasters this week.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Admit it: Things just haven't been the same for you since you gave in and started wearing pants again.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    The stars indicate that this is not a good week to start a new love affair. It's a fine week, however, to continue enjoying the old one.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You've listened to it over and over, but you still fail to see how Frampton is supposed to "come alive."
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    This week, try not to worry about things over which you have no control. For an ineffectual slob such as yourself, this means just about everything.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You will see your fate unfold as through a glass, darkly. This is largely due to your sunglasses.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    The Zodiac is still around during the daytime, even if you can't see it. So don't try anything funny, okay?
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    You've learned a few things in your life, but as you'll soon see, looking both ways before crossing the street isn't one of them.

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