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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Your Horoscopes

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You'll continue playing dress-up this week, despite being almost 30, and feeling kind of silly every time you put on that professional-looking suit.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Remember: God means something different to everyone, but only you, and those who agree with you, are right.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    The presence of Saturn in your sign this week indicates strength, determination, and you getting repeatedly struck by a Model SL1 Series.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    The human mind is a thing of startling beauty. Unfortunately yours is mostly filled with old phone numbers and minor celebrity trivia.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Nobody knows the troubles you've seen. Remind them of this fact at every possible opportunity.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    A tall, dark stranger stops by, lucky numbers 7 and 29 are in the studio, and musical guest Vampire Weekend—-all that and much, much more, tonight on Later With Libra.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    They say that having a child changes anything, but what they really mean is "keeping a child."
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    After weeks of setbacks, false-alarms, and outright obstructionism, Congress will finally pass a massive, 3.4 ounce kidney stone this Friday.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    More and more, you're beginning to suspect your nickname might be pejorative.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Any hope you once had of aging with grace and dignity will be dashed this week, when you turn 25.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Ignorance and stupidity will soon be yours, when the Tree of Wisdom is cut down to make room for another mini-mall.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Financial reward is most definitely in your future. Keep scooping out those "take-a-penny" trays at the truckstops along I-90.

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