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Vol 46 Issue 09

Ball Movement Making Dirk Nowitzki Nauseous

DALLAS—During last Wednesday's game against the Phoenix Suns, Mavericks center Dirk Nowitzki reportedly told teammates that he "needed a sec" after a possession featuring quick-paced perimeter passing made him nauseous.

Autistic Child Ruins Marriage He Was Born To Save

HOUSTON—With the challenges accompanying his developmental disorder widening the already vast gulf between his parents, autistic child Evan Thomas, 3, continued this week to destroy the failing marriage he was brought into this world to save.

Soda Tax Suggested In California

California lawmaker Dean Florez has introduced a bill that would tax soda and other sugary drinks one cent for every teaspoon of caloric sweetener...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Your Horoscopes

  • Aries

    Aries

    You'll continue playing dress-up this week, despite being almost 30, and feeling kind of silly every time you put on that professional-looking suit.
  • Taurus

    Taurus

    Remember: God means something different to everyone, but only you, and those who agree with you, are right.
  • Gemini

    Gemini

    The presence of Saturn in your sign this week indicates strength, determination, and you getting repeatedly struck by a Model SL1 Series.
  • Cancer

    Cancer

    The human mind is a thing of startling beauty. Unfortunately yours is mostly filled with old phone numbers and minor celebrity trivia.
  • Leo

    Leo

    Nobody knows the troubles you've seen. Remind them of this fact at every possible opportunity.
  • Virgo

    Virgo

    A tall, dark stranger stops by, lucky numbers 7 and 29 are in the studio, and musical guest Vampire Weekend—-all that and much, much more, tonight on Later With Libra.
  • Libra

    Libra

    They say that having a child changes anything, but what they really mean is "keeping a child."
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio

    After weeks of setbacks, false-alarms, and outright obstructionism, Congress will finally pass a massive, 3.4 ounce kidney stone this Friday.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius

    More and more, you're beginning to suspect your nickname might be pejorative.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn

    Any hope you once had of aging with grace and dignity will be dashed this week, when you turn 25.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius

    Ignorance and stupidity will soon be yours, when the Tree of Wisdom is cut down to make room for another mini-mall.
  • Pisces

    Pisces

    Financial reward is most definitely in your future. Keep scooping out those "take-a-penny" trays at the truckstops along I-90.
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