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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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Your Horoscopes — Week Of April 23, 2013

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    This week, try not to worry about things over which you have no control. For an ineffectual slob such as yourself, this means just about everything.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    You might think you're the coolest person around, but don't forget about Beth Mills of Austin, TX. She has a hedgehog.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Remember: Three can keep a secret if two are dead. That said, you know what you have to do.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You will achieve a certain kind of fame when you discover several more steps to add to your 12-step program.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Because of its dualistic nature, Gemini believes there are two kinds of people in this world: you and those who won't die in a coke-fueled gunfight this Sunday.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You’ll fail to pull yourself up by your bootstraps this week when your boots become tangled in the traffic helicopter's landing skids.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    The combination of Mars and Venus in your sun sign indicates that love is in your future whether you can afford it or not.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    is the most generous, magnanimous, and noble of all the Zodiacal signs, but that's still no reason for the board to grant you parole.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You've always been a lightning rod for controversy, but it gets worse when you become an actual lightning rod.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Remember: Sometimes you just have to step back, take a deep breath, give yourself a shake, and blow off the top of your head with Dad's old shotgun.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You'll find yourself up the creek without a paddle this week, but take heart: Paddles are available for purchase at any decent sporting-goods store.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Smile! Somebody out there loves you. On second thought, don't smile.

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