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Your Horoscopes - Week Of April 26, 2011

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Entertainment

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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Your Horoscopes - Week Of April 26, 2011

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Home is where your heart is, and your lungs and liver too, but despite a monthlong search they'll never find all of you.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    For the third excruciating week in a row, you will find yourself power-less to prevent your day from perfectly mimicking the lyrics of "Stairway To Heaven."
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You can't help but feel that if there were something you could do to stop being such a wishy-washy, passive, indecisive loser, you would have done it by now.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Air and fire magicks are very strong in your sign right now, so it's fortunate that you're really into igniting your own flatulence.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You'll find steady if undignified employment as the guy who stands right behind the crime boss and emphatically repeats the last words of all his sentences in a sneering voice.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You'll fall short of funky expectations this week when you find yourself digging the scene and looking clean, but without any sort of gangster lean.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    The stars have no wisdom or portents to impart at this time, but thought it would be bad manners not to at least say hi.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You've always wanted to be the one that people come to for wisdom and comfort, but you'll have to settle for being the one that the stripper winds up talking to about her kids.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Sometimes there is just no way to say you're sorry, but the rest of the time you should probably try just walking up to the person and saying "I'm sorry."
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You try to be a decent person with a good perspective on life and a firm view of right and wrong, but you'll soon find yourself ordering something called a half-caff skinny maple soy latte.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You'll be devastated by the news that you could have stopped a major tragedy in Nigeria if you had only answered their pleading e-mails in time.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Your eyes will be a little too big for your stomach next week when a sudden hideous allergic reaction causes your eyes to swell up to six times their usual size.

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