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Entertainment

Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Your Horoscopes - Week Of August 02, 2011

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You'll feel a strange mixture of pride and terror when NASA announces it will replace the space shuttle with you in launches starting late next year.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Considering how easy it is to get them these days, you're starting to regret choosing "hugs" over any number of things that rhyme with them.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Your theory that your life eerily echoes the events in Casablanca is disrupted even further by the disparity in people's emotional involvement with their endings.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Every marriage is like a little nation unto itself, and the failure of yours is a textbook example of how investment in education, the arts, and maybe a puppy are desirable goals for civilization.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Often it feels as if everything is too hard for you and that anything you try ends in failure, but take heart: Those feelings have to be wrong eventually.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Sometimes we find amazing things in places we least expect them, whether it's true love, peace of mind, or, in your case, a pack of furious marauding cannibals.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You have no idea why you've been experiencing laughter, tears, a sudden desire for fried chicken, or an impulse to call the law offices of Marvin Falbaum, but it's probably the TV.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Decent people everywhere will be shocked and appalled by the treatment you received and the conditions under which you were held, but it's not like their jobs are any better.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You'll find yourself curiously unfulfilled, if not a little frightened, when you finally learn the answer to the question of who watches the birdwatchers.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    In retrospect, you should have paid more attention to the obvious warning signs, which were of course placed there by the Department of Transportation for just that purpose.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You've been fooling yourself for so long that you've lost track of your sense of identity, your joy in life, and which one is actually the real Shroud of Turin.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    If you somehow magically had the chance to do it all over again, you'd do everything in your power to make her happy. You don't, though, because that's not the way it works.

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