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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 19, 2014

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    You'll become embroiled in a steamy office romance next week, which would be better if you weren't the trusty in charge of bringing the warden his meals.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    It's going to be hectic and stressful for the next few days, but it'll all be worth it by Friday when the pope excommunicates you for the coolest reason ever.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You're a bit sad that you never get invited to cool parties, but you'll be downright angry when you hear about the awesome ones they hold at your place the second you leave every day.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Remember, a bend in the road isn't the end of the road. While we're on the subject, the circular device on the dashboard can be used to turn your car.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    Next week's horrifying accident inspires an outcry for more stringent safety standards in coal-fueled power plans until everyone realizes it was actually just all your fault.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Your whole life is thrown into a terrible new perspective when you learn that Enter The Dragon is not intended to be a romantic comedy.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Your troubles will all be over next week, and what's even better, it all happens so fast that investigators will agree you probably didn't feel a thing.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You'll get a free beverage refill when ordering a large-sized French fries, but really that's going to be about it for you this week.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You should avoid making any financial decisions next week, as the pain you'll be in from all the third-degree flash burns will probably affect your judgment.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    While the ideal gas law is certainly important, your attempt to apply it to every situation in your life can only lead to disaster.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Former Rams quarterback Norm Van Brocklin will appear to you in a dream and explain to you at embarrassing length why you're not quite good enough for Bart Starr to appear in your dreams.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    All your hard work will finally pay off this week, but not, of course, for you.

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