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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Your Horoscopes - Week Of August 23, 2011

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Your dealings with the dark powers will be jeopardized when even they are a little freaked out by how eager you are to behead all those chickens.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    You will be transfixed by the realiztion that human lives are as unique as a snowflakes, and just as indistinguishable from one another when viewed from the proper distance.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You'll soon grow dependent on drugs just to make it through the day, but unfortunately it's because of cancer and not anything fun or interesting like addiction.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Your death next week will come as a complete surprise, but appropriately enough, not for the reasons you might expect.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You always thought that when the giant robots began to arrive they'd be your friends, but hey, live and learn.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You've always been afraid to try new things, which is fortunate, as a whole bunch of new things will go around killing people who try them this week.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Your pessimism and negativity are usually misplaced, but they'll be perfectly appropriate when your elevator plunges into the flames Thursday.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Sure enough, Al Green will take all your blues away trust like he always does, but the day is fast approaching when you'll find out where he's been taking them.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Millions of dollars will slip through your fingers when you discover that people are willing to pay good money for fake dog feces and decide the real thing must be worth twice as much.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    While you might have been able to forgive her for walking out on you, your hatred of ska music is such that you'll never be able to forgive her for skanking out on you.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    You've given up tilting at windmills once and for all, pragmatically deciding to dispatch them with much more sensible grenades instead of that horseback-lance setup.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Uncontrollable spasms will cause you to accidentally scrawl across many of your important meeting notes this week, proving conclusively that orgasms are simply not worth the trouble.

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