Your Horoscopes - Week Of August 30, 2011

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‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.
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Your Horoscopes - Week Of August 30, 2011

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Remember, when potential employers ask you what your worst quality is, you're bound by law to mention all those poor, poor nurses.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    You'll be happy they can no longer use that eye-for-an-eye business on you, but unfortunately the next line allows them to start in on your teeth.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Investigators will be forced to assume the buck elk all decided you were trying to mate with their does, which suggests more foresight than you'd thought possible in a common ungulate.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Giving birth is a life-altering experience, but despite the pain and wave of emotions, that's not what you did in the bathroom an hour or so ago.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    While it's true they laughed at your dreams of being a talk-show host, it was actually because you did the monologue so well. Your choice of guests, however, sucks.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You will take the first hellish step down a dark path from which there can be no return when you agree to get updates on Carnival Cruise specials and discounts.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    While it's true your future holds a possibility of love and a chance of financial success, it also holds an absolute certainty of angry Russian kidnappers.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    The sight of the handsome young man in the apartment across from yours will awaken something deep inside of you, causing you to erupt with vomiting whenever you meet him in the hallway.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You're certainly no George Orwell, although you shouldn't have to be to recognize the sort of thing that's going on at work.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    You're a self-made woman, which is a point of pride, but also means explaining a lot to the people working the X-ray machine at the airport.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Everyone has their price, but since yours is so much lower than anyone else's, you have saved a lot of people from finding out what theirs is.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    Next Sunday morning will find you lying in an ice-filled bathtub with both your kidneys missing, but you won't be embarrassed, as the organ thieves will have taken your heart and lungs, too.


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