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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Your Horoscopes - Week Of August 31, 2010

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Your daughter's memory will still haunt your dreams, but it's a welcome change from all the relived failures and sweaty former scoutmasters.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Just when you thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, the stars confirm that you are correct and it is pretty much as bad as possible.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    The clown car may be an overworked reference, but the doctors can think of no better way to describe the constant stream of clowns issuing from your abdominal cavity.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    Ultimately there will be nothing your friends can do for you, putting you in the position of having to find more competent friends.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    The stars say that this week will be a time of reflective contemplation, so postpone your plans to rollerskate around naked except for the gas mask.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Just when all hope is gone, you will find a secret stash of Oreos that actually makes up for quite a lot.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You're through giving advice to people, to the vast relief of the park rangers tasked with pulling their charred husks out of the volcanoes.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You'll lose both legs in a railroad accident next month, but luckily they'll only be prosthetic replacements for the ones you'll lose at the zoo this Thursday.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    No one will be able to figure out your enigmatic last words, and the fact that you'll live in silence for three more years after uttering them makes that somehow cooler.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    After becoming a routine victim of bedbugs, you'll make history as the world's first victim of chair-, wall-, and all-over-the-catbugs.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    It comes down to whether or not you can play an instrument or drive stick, but no, you won't get the girl this time, either.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    You've always said that if you were king, you'd make college free, but there won't be time between your coronation, the palace coup, and the beheading.

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