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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Your Horoscopes - Week Of February 14, 2012

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    Your health continues to decline as your skin becomes too sensitive to endure sunlight and your soul remains too sensitive to endure dark, smoky bars.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    While you admire his technical execution and admit he had a nice gimmick going, you have no idea who Michelangelo's target market was supposed to be.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    You can't shake the feeling there has to be more to life than "seductively unzip the jacket, primly zip up the jacket" all week long.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    You've read the instructions on how it's made, talked to people who claim to have made it, even seen videos of people making it, but you can't shake the feeling that when it comes to toast the toaster does all the work.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    You'll be shunned at work when you go from indifference toward Whitney Houston's death to bursting into tears over her in a disturbingly short time.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    You'll receive hundreds of unsolicited estimates from eager housepainters when you mention your love of Jackson Pollock while walking past a Home Depot.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    Your short but remarkable career as the Serge Gainsbourg of country music will end Thursday as disgustingly as it began.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    You're as envious of the moneyed classes as you are disgusted by their distance from and disregard for everyday life, but you're still no F. Scott Fitzgerald.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    Just as you're coming to terms with the challenges and rewards of living alone, you begin to suspect someone else is still alive out there in the radio­active rubble.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    Sometimes you feel like the whole world is spinning, spinning, spinning at a dizzying rate, causing the passage of day and night as well as fearsome Coriolis winds in the tropical regions.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    When future biographers address your astoundingly large body of poetic work they'll just skip right past it, partly because it's fairly complex stuff but mostly because they're writing your biography as punishment.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    You're the kind of boring person doomed to be alone while trying to solve all the problems instead of hanging out with the cool people while assigning blame.

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