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Your Horoscopes – Week Of February 19, 2013

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Entertainment

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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Your Horoscopes – Week Of February 19, 2013

  • Aries

    Aries | March 21 to April 19

    There are a million reasons you shouldn't give up hope of ever finding love. None of them, however, are any good.
  • Taurus

    Taurus | April 20 to May 20

    Forces are being set in motion that will forever change the way you look at microwaveable Mexican dinners.
  • Gemini

    Gemini | May 21 to June 20

    Your excitement over the new arrival in your life is shattered when it is born with antlers.
  • Cancer

    Cancer | June 21 to July 22

    The men from the government will exercise a surprising amount of patience while explaining to you that income taxes are not determined by essay.
  • Leo

    Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

    The Hands of Fate will intervene several times next week, knocking you into puddles for their own amusement.
  • Virgo

    Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

    Your extremely trying week will not be improved by your decision to deal with all problems by leaning on the horn.
  • Libra

    Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

    You will successfully foil a secret plot to infiltrate your house and surprise you with birthday gifts, cake, and good wishes.
  • Scorpio

    Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

    Your upcoming appearance on a popular wildlife show will provide a cautionary example to whale-watchers for years to come.
  • Sagittarius

    Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

    You will soon learn the hard way that "motherly love" means different things to different mothers.
  • Capricorn

    Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

    The paramedics will find it much easier to load you into the ambulance if they remember to bring a few buckets along.
  • Aquarius

    Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

    Your hatred of the strange and unfamiliar leads you to open hundreds of identical fast-food restaurants.
  • Pisces

    Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

    The stars thank you for your interest, but you do not fit their needs at this time. Good luck in future endeavors.

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